me..sitting alone thinking..

wow ...

this is my last day,last night in the Philippines..

i tried to go back from day 1..but nah ..i can't stop the time.

my flight is tomorrow .im freaking out again..we all know its reaching 35,000 feet ( whooo) im scared of heights..

I don't have a choice ,just i try to brace it,deal with the flying blah..blah..

It amazes me travelling by air..you could go to another country at same day via air trave;-that's the only idea i love..fast..unlike the times when we only travel by trains,buses and ships..you have to count the days ,or even a month..

im a little anxious about leaving ..mixed emotions pouring in my whole body..

maybe feeling the stress of leaving your love ones behind(again) 

plus a special person also is left behind,,

i found it difficult to cope with sadness..the last time i remember-when i went for vacation, and when going back to normal routines..i totally broke down to tears. open to the other passengers seated nearby. I don't care at all..

i just care of letting my emotions go..otherwise if i keep those bad feelings inside..I feel sick.so i had to let it out.cry it out..anyway what's wrong with crying?

plus the AIRPORT- i dont like the "rush" in this area. and the fact that its a melting pot already- mixed race that you can't even trust-except those you knew for long time... haaiissttt its stressful. the cue. the food cue, the visa cue,the toilet cue-- lahat PILA!!!!!

ai nakakaloka...gotta go..now i have to rest my eyes..

my next blog will be the first weeks back in the Middle East--  :) see you folks!

double trouble

lets talk about TWINS.
i have a twin-sister,we're identical,she's just ahead of me after they pulled her out,Im still inside my mother's womb-the doctors are beggining to stitch my mother's open wound!-hello im still inside..
in short one of them realized im still stucked inside-so they open the stitch again and pulled me out..

having a twin is great,but there are disavantages too- we're both identical girl twins..
we kept on borrowing each other's clothes,things and other stuff like shoes!!
the good advantage- she is your permanent BFF . you go to movies together,eat together,fight with same enemy,laugh same time,cry same time,
but still we are not perfectly same.finger-prints,attitude,style,etc etc...
im grateful i have an identical twin to laugh and cry with.and oh..to fight with sometimes... eerrr :)

mY thoughts,my blogs

this is my first time to write ..

im considering as a daily blog..

to shout what im feeling at the moment..

i don't care how its written..

in metaphor or direct way. what's important for me :

is to express what i feel:

...can I ask you?

to leave me alone..

I can't focus,

I can't breathe..

So pls stop swimming inside my head..

It hurts me more.

my brain stops as my heart started to pump

Im feeling kind of foolish..grabbing your name out 

so I could start fosusing on my head ,and not my heart.

Isn't it lovely,just thinking of your name,

makes me smile for a bit,It helps though.

yet It gave me a disturbing moment...

Can I just have a reason to hate you?

So I could stop insisting myself to you..

Can I just ask God to take wipe out all the memories that we had..

So I am hurt No more..

If Only I could ..I would possibly erase you completely..

Only what's left is your name-without an emotion that tormented my soul..

--- this is just an expression ..

 thanks for reading..if you liked the words written above...

thanks a lot.If you can relate to that, allow me to join you in my journey..thanks!!