is it hard or is it just hard to be REAL..

they say  you can release al your emotions when you scream..what if you can't even scream..and in the end you made a silence act that no one could even talk to you...what would you do?
you can't  shout, soon enough you don"t notice..tears are rolling down your cheeks and kept asking why does it hurt ? and where this word HURT came from?


sometimes i try to believe and now im convinced..its better to be beaten physically than slashed by one single bang right in front of your face.ouch !  and ouch!
your heart beating so fast,tears racing down your cheeks plus over-fatigue..and emotionally drained...aargghhh  you can"t breath ( of course just because you"re crying hysterically)


I kept asking myself..what did I do? 
is it the timing or just being so careless..about everything..
I felt like a candle melting ..like a stone crashed into pieces..or a piece of wood cut into wedges..and being thrown out and burned.  the word Thrown out-that hurt..


yet  I managed to keep it all together ..try to think and do the right thing..
set it aside ..keep it cool..and it will be alright...
soon you'll noticed it will fade away..and be gone...
after its faded..you can tell to yourself..that I had actually made it..moved on..that i can deal with all the chaos..


yes...im back ..now you can see regular posts from me...
anything needed to scream at..this is the only place I can rely on..after all I had written so many..
and yes i can go on. work,and live ...just don"t forget to breathe...